Photo Credit: World Wrestling Entertainment

WWE TLC Review

Hello AW Universe,

WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders, and Chairs had their 2019 edition live from the Target Center in Minnesota, MN.

Here are the results and the review of the card.

SmackDown Tag Team Championship

Ladder Match

The New Day d. The Revival

This match was an interesting one to be booked as the opening match; slow and methodical isn’t the conventional approach to pop a crowd, and a start like this shows the most obvious difference between AEW and WWE, as an AEW match would be like a cruiserweight match and would be a high energy, balls-to-the-walls, spotfest. I’m not saying it’s necessary, but it’s a noticeable difference.

This was a redemption match for Kofi Kingston; he was the star, getting the hope spot at the end and winning the match.

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Backstage Segment

I’m all for King Corbin as a heel; I get the idea of turning X-Pac Heat into something that can . But oh boy, this guy cannot cut a promo to save his life. Sure, it can be part of the gimmick that he’s bad on the mic, but you actually have to be good in the first place to subvert the standard, and Corbin is just plain bad.

Aleister Black d. Buddy Murphy

Buddy Murphy is a fine worker, but as long as he wears those dangly trunks I can’t take this idiot seriously. Add the awful haircut to the look, and this guy will forever be “the best wrestler to never win a single, goddamn title.” This match is a prime example of the value that blood still serves in pro wrestling matches. Aleister Black had is nose legitimately broken, and every bit of offence that he got in after it started leaking had that added bit of intensity. This two put on a well-paced match, with a slow build to some good chain wrestling, but unfortunately the crowd never really seems to be into it.

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Backstage Segment

Rusev claims his back, and damn right he is!

Alright, so way back at All Out I gave AEW shit for blatantly shilling out for Cracker Barrel with that weird hardcore match that they had that was nothing but a plug for the lovely chain, so I have to give WWE just as much shit for shilling out for KFC as the Viking Raiders make their way to the ring.

Raw Tag Team Championship

(Open Challenge)

The OC Vs. The Viking Raiders- No Contest (Double Countout)

Jerry Lawler proclaims that KFC is “his favourite,” which further reinforces that he clearly has no taste.

This match is just mired by cuts to the fans who are sitting right at ringside, smashing their Kentucky Fried Chicken– which, I have to say that if these are actually fans, and not just plants, then the greasy folding table that they’re sitting at right in the corner of the ring next to the barricade by the entrance ramp are wicked seats.

Anyway, this match is alright, but it’s hard to be sure since they keep showing the chicken-eaters and talking about how good KFC is. I hope they’re getting paid a lot for this product placement, because that’s such a bullshit take.

The match ends with a double count-out, which frankly makes no sense, the crowd hates it, and it’s clear that that the “fans” at the KFC table were, in fact, plants as they act way too calm as Luke Gallows drags their table away from them (the guy wearing the vintage DX shirt just stands there, clutching his bucket, stuffing his face with fried chicken) to set up a table spot. Disappointing. Anyway, the Viking Raiders get the last spot driving Anderson through said table. This is probably setting up a longer feud between the two, but what a waste.

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King Corbin d. Roman Reigns

So I immediately realized something as King Corbin made his way to the ring: if King Corbin went away from WWE tomorrow, literally no one would care; if he jumped to AEW, and appeared as Baron Corbin or whatever, nobody would care. I get why Corbin gets some credit for the reactions he gets from the crowd, bit watching him (painfully) try and cut a backstage promo, is lukewarm reaction as he gets carried to the ring, and his awful, generic theme music, this guy sucks. Graves makes mention that Corbin’s “strikes are lethal”- they’re not; Michael Cole mentions that Booker T suggested that Corbin, “could be one of the best big men WWE history,”- he will not. I’m realizing as I watch this match how much I can’t stand this guy. This is not the best SmackDown has to offer for a top heel, right?

Jesus, I have to say that this Minnesota crowd might be one of the worst that I’ve seen in awhile; I can’t say that they’re the worst that I’ve heard since they barely make a frickin sound! It’s brutal.

Anyway, Dolph Ziggler randomly appears to superkick Reigns, then The Revival come down to help Corbin, and the security detail attacks Reigns too and Corbin eventually wins with an End of Days to a chair. Honestly, not the ending I expected, and the more Reigns loses the better for his character longterm, but the finish came pretty suddenly, and the crowd barely reacts.

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Bray Wyatt d. The Miz

Bray Wyatt is one of the hottest gimmicks right now, and this crowd couldn’t give two shits about him during his entrance. This crowd is awful.

The match itself is alright, with Wyatt doing some great storytelling flipping between his personas while be let’s Miz get most of the offence in and laughs while it happens. The finish is pretty predicable, with Wyatt winning with two Sister Abigails, but then Daniel Bryan appears and attacks Bray while an image of “The Fiend” on the Titantron. Bryan reveals his cropped hair and beard– which is pretty disappointing– but the god awful crowd actually gets hot for him, so it’s good to know that they all still have a pulse. Wyatt disappears as the lights go out, and this feud keeps going. I’m still into it.

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Bobby Lashley d. Rusev

Rusev lost. There isn’t much else to say about this match. Lashley wins with an over-the-head belly-to-belly through a table in the tree of woe in the corner. This likely means that his feud continues. I’m not still into this. Goddammit.

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The Kabuki Warriors d. Becky Lynch & Charlotte Flair

This match gets points for innovation, with a huge bull-rope playing a bog factor; Becky was beaten with it, then tied to a prone ladder like a damsel in an old-timey picture to a train track. Since this was a tornado tag format, this acted like a hot tag when Charlotte finally untied her and she stormed back, but since Daniel Bryan isn’t in this match, they barely care.

Charlotte takes a hard bump as Kairi Sane powerbombs her from the apron through a table on the outside, and Becky gets yanked off the ladder that had the rope still attached to it by Asuka, who pulls the titles down to win the match.

This match tried its hardest to be a good hardcore match, with the absurd spots– Sane was pulled from under the ring and doused Becky and Charlotte with a fire extinguisher– and the extreme– chairs to the face and the table spot.

The Kabuki Warriors winning also surprised me, so it seems the bookers made a conscious choice to swerve the audience. Too bad they were all watching the Vikings beating the Saints on their smartphones. That has to be the reason, since they were barely engaged in this event.

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The PPV goes off the air with a big brawl between Reigns, Corbin, and a bunch of SmackDown wrestlers. So now Roman has allies, but didn’t earlier..? Welp, gotta make sure to tune into Friday night to see what it was all about!!

All in all, this PPV sucked. Yes, the crowd sucked but the promising card underdelivered and even though there were some innovative things in the main event, there won’t be anything memorable from this event.

On to Royal Rumble.