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The Ghetto Blast 08/14/19

What up hood rats? Your home slice BNB is biggity back y’all!! Had to scope out a few of my hoes in different area codes over the past couple weeks, but I’m back up in this ma to spit some hot fire about your squared circle desires in this edition of the Giz-etto Blast.

I’d like to start this trip off on the East side, the far East side that is. Last time I told you how I would be taking in my first ever NJPW G-1 climax tournament. My journey to the land of the rising sun made me realize many things about myself and the world of pro wrasslin. Sadly the first realization I came to was just how much wrestling is too much wrestling. I can’t lie folks, I did not watch the entire tournament. Don’t get me wrong hood rats, the wrestling was some the best I’ve ever seen. But the commitment of watching a PPV every few days was just way too much to consume. Maybe back in the days when there were no little BNB’s running around or a Mrs. BNB, but without completely writing off all my worldly responsibilities there was no way in hell I was gonna finish this ride. I also found out how much the “Entertainment” in Sports Entertainment means to me. I’d say 7 out of every 10 matches in the tournament were 4 stars or better, but without any real storyline other than the tournament itself, I found myself not giving a shit 10 out of 10 times. I applaud all of you who can get by on great wrestling alone, if I could I would, but I can’t, so I won’t!!  It wasn’t all bad news when it came to the tournament though, as I discovered two of the most entertaining in ring workers I’ve seen in awhile. If you haven’t watched a Zac Sabre Jr. match before, I’d compare it to wrestling an octopus. Watching him tie his opponent in knots, and slap him in moves that make you go hmmm??? Was some of the most unique wrestling I’ve ever seen. Like what in the actual f**k is a banana split? Give him a google homey, you won’t be disappointed. The other dude that had me in awe is The Hawaiian Juggernaut Jeff Cobb. Basically a 300+ pounder pulling off standing moonsaults, suplexes in spades, chops stiff enough for yo momma and a finisher to behold. He’s currently under contract to ROH, although I’m not sure if his North American offerings are as good as this was?

Back on the West side I’m really enjoying a bit of a throw back gimmick. Call me old fashioned but nothing keeps me more intrigued on a week to week basis than the good old “mystery assailant” storyline. Cheesy? Maybe a little. Played out? Maybe to most of you, but your boy BNB loves the slow building weekly draw of a phantom antagonist. The finger pointing, the hunt, the reveal teases. I love it, and you can sign me up all day cuz!!

I feel like I might be alone on this one too, but I can’t stand the Street Profits!! Ok, so it’s mainly Montez Ford ( Angelo Dawkins mackin on the less desirable Divas is actually kind of funny). This clown is supposed to be street? B**ch Please!! This stringy little snit wouldn’t last a Pollard Meadows minute on the mean streets of Millwoods!! And maybe I just don’t get it either? Like why are you on RAW but only wrestling on NXT? What’s the payoff in having these two studio gangstas steal valuable mic time from guys that are actually on RAW? I can only chalk it up to Vince’s constant need to have an “Urban” influence on weekly TV, either way these fools need to check themselves before they wreck themselves!!

If you’ve been a wrestling fan as long as I have, you probably remember when the 4th major PPV of the year used to actually mean something. I therefore declare this the beginning of the  “Make Survivor Series Great Again” movement. I pledge to put the most unlikely of Superstars together on the same team, and watch as they turn on each other to set up future storylines!! I pledge to re-introduce the “Sole Survivor” for both men’s and women’s Survivor Series matches!! I pledge to make each Sole Survivor the owner of the #30 spot in their respective Royal Rumble matches!! Survivor Series Will Be Great Again!! And all shall be right in the Universe forever more!!

Let me know your thoughts and opinions in the comments hood rats.

Until next time, it’s all good in tha hood!!

@BADNEWSBOND

 

  • Tim the Enchanter

    100% agree with you on the SP. If only they weren’t as good as they are on the mic. It might get them directions to 38B Ave in tha Hood but they ain’t never going to find Christophers Party Pub. The WWE needs to step up on it’s “How do I talk on a mic?” training program. Listening to 90% of these wrestlers ramble away on the mic like the way they are, gave me cancer.

  • Mr. Nick

    Glad to have you back! So many awesome points.

    Survivor Series needs that little extra to get it back to being the major ppv it used to be.

    Big yes on needing storylines to keep me interested as well. I’d rather have an average match with a great story.