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The Ghetto Blast!!

How’s it going hood rats? Any respectable wrestling angle starts with an introduction, so please allow me to introduce myself. My handle is @BADNEWSBOND, and I grew up in the ghettos of Millwoods, Alberta, Canada (think Greenwich, but more polite). I’m gonna keep things short and to the point for all you humanoids, and spit my opinions on my likes/dislikes from the world of pro wrestling.

Let’s start with the dub, and what I really love these days. It has to be the number of firsts in the Women’s division. First Women’s Rumble, first Women’s Hell In A Cell and so on and so forth. You only get one first in the world of sports entertainment, and the fact that the ladies are getting theirs is fantastic. Where I’d like to see it go next is the first ever Queen Of The Ring. Imagine Charlotte in all her glory as the actual Queen Of Wrestling? Or better yet, put it on someone else to feud with Charlotte? Think Harley Race vs. Jim Duggan type feud.

For all that’s right currently in the fed, there’s an equal amount of wrong. One fad that is alarming to me is the influx of top end Japanese talent, and the inevitable failure of them to build a strong character. But I’m not just gonna shit on the WWE for this, I offer two easy and absolute solutions. First, Mr.Fuji!! Give these guys/gals a salt throwing, devious, Japanese mouth piece to not only build their character, but also allow for an inevitable and respectable face turn. Sorry Paige, not quite devious enough!! Secondly, Asian Freakin Mist!! Arguably the most successful Japanese wrestler to ever hit state side was The Great Muta. Was it because he was a great wrestler? Was it because he was a great talker? Nope, it’s because at any given moment he could open up his glands (all Japanese wrestlers got em) and blind his opponent with Asian Freakin Mist!!

Outside the WWE, all the talk is around AEW and Double Or Nothing. I watched, and I was impressed on some levels and disappointed on others. What worked? Solid Wrestling, commentary (although Excalibur is brutal), set, crowd and surprises. What didn’t? Sound, Pyro ( it was nice to have, but try harder next time) and sorry but Bret was awful. All in all (pun intended) the good out weighed the bad, and I look forward to AEW finding it’s identity, and hopefully putting out some more solid shows in the near future.

Another gem I’ve come across lately and I’d encourage you all to check out is MLW. It’s available for free on the fite ap and is making a fan of old BNB. They switch up commentators some times, but quite often it’s Jim Cornette. And man, I loves me some Jim Cornette!! They also currently have The Hart Foundation under contract, and what has to be the craziest move going right now The Doomsday Destroyer (google it). Teddy Hart has obviously smoked himself stupid, but Davey Boy Jr. puts on a solid match, and hopefully Brian Pillman Jr. cuts ties eventually and allows his young career to blossom. How Jacob Fatu isn’t in the dub is a mystery to me (think high flying Umaga), and MJF has to be the number #1 chicken shit heel in all of wrestling now that the Miz has turned face. He’s signed to AEW, but you can check him out now on MLW each and every week.

Lastly, I’m going to try and end each of these with a gimmick or idea I’d like to see. I’m going to kick it off with an Internet Troll gimmick. About a month back this dude kept trolling me on Facebook and Twitter. It would get me so fired up, and the fact that I couldn’t do anything about it made me even more pissed. I eventually blocked this Muppet, but you can’t block people in pro wrestling. Think about it? A character that mocks people from a far, rips them on social media and runs like a scared little coward at the slightest sign of trouble. Best part about bringing this to wrestling, would be the eventual pay off when said mocked wrestler finally gets his hands on the dirty disgusting Troll!!

Anyhow, hope you enjoyed folks. Please leave any feedback in the comments, I’d love to hear your opinion good or bad.

Until next time, it’s all good in tha hood!!

@BADNEWSBOND

  • *HeartPunch*

    “…Internet Troll gimmick…”, you say…LOL…well…allow me to introduce my…ah, nevermind…

    Anyway…so I don’t exactly GET what your gimmick is for this bit. You’re “URBAN”, right? AND…uh…Canadian…??? Not sure it’s…ummm…”working”, my brutha…if you can feel me. (Since you’re a Canuck, I’ll translate…”if you smell-la-la-la-LA…what I’m cooking…eh…”). Hope that helps.

    Back to business. Women’s wrestling — don’t care. Nobody cares. People pretend to…but…no one actually does. Care, I mean.

    Harley Race vs. Jim Duggan…was that a thing? I’d prefer Flair against Wahoo McDaniel or Dusty Rhodes vs. ANYONE. But NO WOMEN in the Main Event just to have Women in the Main Event…”Ain’t NO-BODY wants ta see that BS on the TV !” (that last sentence was somewhat urban…yet not at all Canadian…make a note if you like…)

    I’m going to disagree with you one last time then I’ll stop. You are CORRECT about the current state of top end Japanese talent. But bringing back the Mr. Fuji top hat might be a mistake. Why?…because today’s Japanese wrestlers don’t need to rely on caricatures and stereotypes from the 70s and 80s. Also, Mr. Fuji is dead…so…that makes things a bit…awkward.

    You said some other stuff too…but I lost interest.

    Thank you for your many, many words. GREAT BLAST B.N.B !!!

    • @BADNEWSBOND

      I’m about as Urban as Akeem, if that helps to nail down my gimmick for you brutha?

      As far as nobody caring about women’s wrestling “I’m afraid I’ve Got Some Bad News For You”, you’re dead wrong my friend. The women’s div is the strongest it’s ever been, and not just in the dub. The ladies are taking their place, and I’m a fan. I could watch Charlotte wrestle a broomstick and be entertained, and I can’t wait till the likes of Tessa Blanchard make their way to the fed.

      Not sure if you can find the original Slammy Awards anywhere but the Duggan/Race feud spilled over into the show and it was fantastic. Track it down, it’s great!!

      Obviously we can’t bring the actual Mr.Fuji back, but a cheap facsimile would do is all I”m saying. Shit, he made a non-Japanese guy one of the best Japanese wrestlers ever!! Nakamura and Asuka were the two best bets to break the stereotypical Japanese wrestler wall, and although they started off gang busters soon the language barrier and just weird awkwardness took over and where are they now? I say go reverse and start them off as heels with a greazy heater manager, and maybe their inevitable face runs would have lasted longer than a year?

      Anyhow holmes, I hope I didn’t disinterest you too badly and I appreciate your opinions and feedback.

      Side note: I’ve been screaming for someone to rock the Heart Punch again for years!! Love the handle, hope I can make a hood rat out of you eventually!!

      • *HeartPunch*

        “…Urban as Akeem…”…*spits out adult beverage*

        Now THAT’S what I wanted to read! GOOD GOD MAN! You ARE Canadian! I’ve heard about YOU people! Much Respect…

        My work here is done. For now. Carry on.